My glorious weekend

Has been filled with lots of tea, vitamins and other junk. I'm so sick that it's sort of funny. blehh, at least I got to play lots of dragon age, lol. YEAH!

I almost forgot why petitions are a joke

Thanks real world internet for reminding me. Go ahead and sign a petition, but don't even follow through on it. What a bunch of wankers! But i suppose the joke is on them. Activision/IW are just laughing their asses off in their offices right now at these guys.

Well...That's just a lucky guess, but I know I would be doing it. Actually I am laughing! It's pretty funny! In a sad sad terrible kind of way....

Of the 86 members that I counted actually playing a game, 44 of them were playing MW2. Thats more then half of the members playing a game that they swore they wouldn't purchase, as of 1:40pm.

Although I don't think it matters when I take a snapshot.

Ohhhhh the irony! It hurts!

Why I game on the PC

This isn't a spontaneous lash out to platform preferences, this is just my opinion on each platforms ability to bring me real entertainment.

I'll arrive at my point in a moment, but first I want to explain why I don't game on any other platform unless necessary.

PLAYSTATION 3

This one is the longest because I think it deserves the most discussion. When I first got my playstation 3, I thought it was the most amazing console in the world, and I was admittedly a little fanyboyish about it...But, The last platform I would ever play a game on is the Playstation 3. I think the title of "ignored stepchild" is most appropriate when it comes to this console. While hyped up to the be the most powerful console technically, realistically it just falls flat as the worst console, with the occasional exception to the rule being games like Killzone2, Uncharted2, and Ratchet and Clank. I once attended a presentation regarding the games industry by Paul Barnett from Warhammer online and he talked about Truths over Facts. A good example of this would be Fact: The Playstation 3 is technically more powerful then the Xbox360. Truth: Almost always games look and play better on the Xbox360 compared to the Playstation 3. It's so important in this industry to recognize that facts are far less important then the truths.

Personally, my experience with the Playstation 3 has always been a negative one and I think the fault lies with Sony themselves and not the game developers. Since the beginning of the Playstation 3's infant hood they have been marketing it as a BluRay HD movie player, with gaming less of its goal as the HD movie market (which, by all means, is huge and worth fighting to win). At that time HDDVD was still around, once HDDVD died they began to be like, "oh hey, we do games too" and they were less pushy with the Blu-Ray Movie ads and just sort of indifferent on everything... which i just remembered is something they seem to have finally realized.

I think the Playstation 3 was more like a confused teenager then anything, and it didnt help that Sony played the role of "overly embracing parent" who thought their kid(console) should do everything. It read every type of memory stick, it had 4 USB ports, it had a built in PS2, it did blu-ray, it had WiFi, it had built in HDMI, bluetooth, it had free online multiplayer and the PSN. It was too much for its own good and it didn't want to focus on one thing: games. For some reason, it just wanted to be the center of attention; complete with it's own music and photos folder which has no reason to be on a gaming console, and a web browser that I can only equate to as "using a PC web broswer with both hands tied behind your back". It was also expensive as hell, and apparently all these features, including a pathetically small hard drive, were the driving force behind the insanely high price of the console so people felt as if they were getting their money's worth.

Now my experience with the Playstation 3 and new game titles has always been this.

*Turns on PS3*

"Your system requires a firmware update" [something I believe Sony does FAR too often]
No, screw that I just want to play the game.

*clicks on game*

*In order to play this game you must do a firmware update on your system. Please do so now*

Umm, fine. Ill come back in half an hour.

The update finishes.

*Please reboot the system for the changes to take effect*

I will reboot then!

*System reboots and I click on the game*

*You must install this game to play it. This install will require 4GB. You do not have enough storage because you play too many damn games, you loser, and you must free up some space in order to install this game*

BAH HAMBUG! *Reluctantly deletes other games to free up space. Retries the install*

*You must install this game to play it. This install will require 4GB. Continue?*

( The playstation 3 at this point just comes off at about as nerdy as a gaming PC.)
YES!

*Comes back in another 30 minutes when it finishes it's slow install*

HELLO GAME!

Although at this point i have typically lost all interest in playing and I beg to ask myself, why didnt I just play this on the PC or xbox 360? The install on the PC would have taken 5 minutes tops, and the xbox 360 would have been instant but definitely a different experience.

Compare this PS3 process to the xbox new title game playing process.

*Insert DVD of new game. Game instantly loads.*

This game requires an update to play online. Would you like to update? Remember, you don't have to do this if you don't want to, it just keeps you signed in to XboxLive if you do"

Sure.

*10 seconds later: Install is done*

Alright! Lets play this game! *invites friends to party chat*

XBOX360

The xbox360 is the most well supported of the 3 platforms from both Microsoft and developers (this probably has to do with the fact that it's easier to develop games on the xbox among other things I'm not at liberty to say), followed by a constantly strong marketing campaign with the budget to back it up. Deals like timed exclusives come to mind, as well as consistently better gaming experiences just in general. It's as if Sony and Apple made a baby. On the one hand you have an easily accessible interface, including socially, which is something only apple pushes in each official piece of software, and on the other hand you have the social acceptance of the system that Sony dreamed the PS3 would have(college frat boys EVERYWHERE!).

Anyway I digress, the xbox360 has the best online experiance through XboxLive, even though it costs $50 a year, I'm not complaining. It's a good investment, period. The games on it are consistently top notch, with the framerate and graphics always being smoother and subtly "prettier" (AA) then it's competitor.

Oh and did I mention XboxLive?

PC

PC will forever be my platform of choice for games. Although it only has as much room to breathe as the developer will allow (Splinter Cell Double Agent anyone? GTA4?). The PC is simply downright the best tech, and PC's no matter how nerdy they may seem, will always give the end user the best real entertainment. Games like World of Warcraft and Dragon Age Origins come to mind as the best games on earth, and they were meant to be played on a PC (you see what I did there, Mac?). If something doesn't work on the PC, I know how to fix it or someone out there already knows and he shares it with the community. That said, the PC community is the strongest community in the gaming history of mankind.

The reason PC's work for me is because I have the wallet to support it, it's my only hobby, really, aside from wooing women with my supreme intellect. Even then, my cost equivalent is maybe $200 every other year for parts on my PC, and since I work at Electronic Arts, my gaming budget vastly opens up since I get free games all the time.

Plus, I can easily multitask on my PC. I can talk on ventrilo, chat on IM, surf the web, maybe play music if i wanted to...all while playing a game with all my friends. My PC stares me in the down everyday and says "bring it on". My PC always wins when it comes to me multitasking, I just can't kill it.

Well, there you have it. My personal preference to my gaming life. I honestly don't care if you disagree with me, because chances are you're a PS3 fanboy, and theres as much a chance for me to reason with you as there is to teach a monkey how to do math. I won't game on the PS3 unless someone gave me a free copy of Uncharted 2 and forced me to take a day off to play it, I have other games I can play on my PC, and if need be, xbox360 so i can play Battlefield Bad Company.

The cake is a lie.

People are so damn stupid

I come back to my car after class, and this is what I see! What the FUCK people! My car was PARKED and you STILL HIT IT! I f*cking hate the world right now. Atleast $700 in repairs or more. So much for my new rims. F*cking college students need to stop smoking weed and stop running late to class. Assholes!!11! This is AFTER i cleaned it up, you should have seen it before!

Wow, today was amazing

Two amazing things happened today. Well actually a lot more then just two things happened, but today just rocked. With all the awesome April Fools jokes out there, and the amazing presentation i saw today from Paul Barnett (the Creative Director of Warhammer Online), I can just say today was pure awesomeness.

Here is a photo from blizzards best april fools joke ever, Role Playing the forums. GG blizzard. That was a good one.  BTW, the inside joke is (if ou can read the text on the photo) that Paladins suck in WoW (they don't really anymore, but people still QQ about it). Well the opening line with the RP'ed paladin forums welcoming thread is "A single tear rolled down Eyonix's face as he mournfully intoned, “Welcome to the World of Warcraft discussion forums!" Oh yes, the joke is on them now. It went on to end like this "And so Eyonix continued on his fateful journey, sliding perilously down the dripping, gaping maw of fate as if it were a waterslide". Again, that can be interpreted as an inside joke since a couple years ago Eyonix refused to play a Pally and tried to tell everyone that they were crazy and that Pally's were fine (they were terrible back then).

And in case you missed Battlefields awesome April Fools joke written by me, you can find it here! It was the headlines for www.n4g.com which was amazing since my April Fools joke spread from mere word-of-mouth alone, and within the first 12 hours of joke going live, it had over 1 thousand views. 

Word of mouth people, on the forums. Not even the main webpage for battlefield. I dont even think the mainpage gets that many views in 12 hours.

Diesel Should Be Proud

Hell, if anything I'm just impressed. Two different games, same man, all on the same page? That's just priceless.

Accidentally Stupid

So I'm driving to work today and I'm in the fast lane, but I'm not driving fast. I'm going 65 because the car in front of me is driving 65, and the lane to my right is blocked with cars so I cannot pass the car in front. I was going to tailgate this idiot, but I saw a yellow "Baby on Board" window sticker on the back window of the car.

Now, I respect babies...

But there is something so damn wrong with some of their parents. First off, if the baby is on board, why are you in the fast lane? Asshole.

Second, a yellow "Baby on Board" sticker does NOT give you permission to be a dumbass.

I don't like to blatently pass cars with Baby on Board stickers, but sometimes I am forced to, as if for some supernatural reason this sticker allows all drivers who own one to be a complete egotistical weetard on the highway... I believe I have just officially made a connection between retards and baby stickers.

Anyways, this powerful sticker does not give you permission to be a dumbass.

Do you know why driving slow in the fast lane with a Baby on Board sticker is such a bitch thing to do? Because then you have officially guilt tripped the person who you are forcing to pass you. That person was me, and yes, I feel like I'm the asshole when I am passing these people, when in all actually they're the asshole.

Thanks a lot, you weetards, for making me feel like a jerk! You know who you are.

Dear Mother of Pearl

I'm Speechless

Remember how I was bitching about how GTA 4 sneaks around and installs shit behind your back without you knowing until after it’s installed? Well this game by THQ, called Dawn of War 2, flat out tells you exactly what it’s going to do to install the game, and then asks if you accept it. HELL YES I DO! I love honesty in software, I want to see more of it.

 

Man, talk about some type of reverse Karma. The whole thing is a mystery of the universe since I literally just flamed GTA4 for doing the exact opposite last night.

 

Even cooler feature is that DoW2 uses Steam. This is a sign from God, I tell you.

Top 10 Reasons Why Macs Suck

I'll start at #10 and work my way up.

10. Mac users to this day are still somehow tricked into thinking that Microsoft is a monopoly, and that Apple is the messiah of all computer companies, even though every Officially Endorsed Apple product for Mac besides iTunes is for Mac only, while windows has reached across the aisle many times with products such as Microsoft Office for Mac.

9. You, the end user, are unable to upgrade your Mac (besides changing RAM and Hard Drives) because Steve Jobs thinks you’re too stupid to do it, and you are forced to buy a brand new computer just to upgrade; which leads me to my next point.

8. The entire Mac computer user experiance was built to appeal to Daft users who only know how to drag-and-drop items. Have you ever seen a Mac user try to drag-n-drop something, only to have it not work? They don’t know what to do next, it’s hilarious.

7.  Mac applications like to make the user play twister with their hands by forcing them to execute keyboard shortcuts by pressing things like  “Apple+Shift+Option+H" just to "Hide Current Application”, how ironic is it, that it’s called a shortcut.

6. When something crashes it doesn’t tell you why (so you can't possibly try to fix it yourself), and instead asks if you would like to send the error/crash report to apple since those guys are probably smarter then you anyway...  You could go to a genius bar so they can run a diagnostic tool to see if they can help you... in fact that's all you can do.  

5. Right-click mice still aren’t the standard for Macs, and they give you shitty white keyboards that are painful to type on for long periods of time.

4. The people who work at the Genius Bar are arrogant assholes who automatically assume that everyone that comes to them for help is a computer illiterate dumbass; not thinking for a moment that the only reason you are there is because of reason # 6. These guys are the worst, they hope that you don't catch on to the fact that the diagnostic tool tells them what the problem is with your mac, and that in fact, they don't know shit about computers. If the diagnostic tool runs and doesn't turn out any problems, then you are peice of shit who wasted the "geniuses" time. Then they will shew you off becuase there is obviously nothing wrong with your Mac. Don't beleive me? Too bad fanboy, becuase it happened to me. By the way, if you want real help with your mac, go here. Unfortunetly they can be expensive, but they know 100x more then those assholes at the Genius Bar do, and they are actually very nice. 

3. Referencing #8,  People will spend upwards of $2,800 for a laptop they are going to use to only surf the web, write essays, write emails, listen to music, possibly make one home video with since the excitement quickly wears off, and the only game you might play is World of Warcraftand it won't even run good. For a computer and not a laptop, people will spend $2500, (+ $900 for a new apple monitor), to do the exact same thing I mentioned a few sentences before, although to be fair... these people are morons, you can't expect much from them. (By the way, for $2,837 you can get a vastly superior PC that will last you atleast 5 or more years,  complete with water cooling, the fastest Blu-Ray combo drive on the market, a DVD/CD combo drive for good measure, the latest intel i7 Quad Core CPU processor, cutting edge graphics card, and you can individually upgrade every part of your PC yourself if you so wanted to; thus expanding the life of your PC to possibly 8 years. Your PC is officially a lean mean gaming-machine, complete with blu-ray HD playback, you know all stuff a Mac can't do. Last year's Apple computers (the ones from 3-4 months ago) are already outdated. Good Game Apple. Of course the fanboys who just bought a laptop a month before the new one's rolled out for the same price won't complain. Damn Tools.

2. Safari, the default internet browser for Mac, doesn’t really work that well for the internet, and neither does Firefox. Good game Apple.

And ranked at #1 reason why Macs are stupid is…

1. To this day, 3 Operating Systems later, a Mac user still cannot delete a selected file by simply pressing the delete or backspace key. They must instead drag and drop the file into the trash to delete it.

 

There it is Mac users. You have been officially served.

Come back tomorrow to read my Top Ten Reasons Why Macs Rock. If there is no article tomorrow named that, it means that I still haven’t fallen for Apple’s Marketing campeign.

-Don’t drink the cool aid- 

FOLLOW UP!!

But Chase! The Mac can have up to 4 nVidia Geforce GT 120's plugged into the Apple computer simulataneously, that must make it more graphically powerful then PC's becase it can have FOUR GRAPHICS CARDS AT ONCE!

My Response:
Wrong, dumbass. If you did even 5 seconds worth of research, you would find out that the nVidia GT 120 is just a renamed piece-of-crap nVidia 9500GT worth about $65 on newegg.com. Want to know what's even more hilarious? Apple charges you $150 a card, and they are probably underclocked to extend the cards life becuase Steve Jobs is incredibly paranoid about his shit not lasting longer then 10 years, which everyone know's is a joke since apple makes you buy a new Mac every two years. Let me spell it out for the Mac users reading my blog right now. Imagine you had 3 hamsters running in a wheel that generated electricity. This represents 1 nVidia GT 120 graphics card. Now imagine that multiplied by 4, now  you have 12 hamsters all doing the same thing which generates quite a lot more energy.  Now imagine you have 1 graphics card for the same price that has all 12 hamsters in it all ready for the PC. 

See the difference? If you don't, it's ok. 

Really, it's ok....

Rockstar Games is Bullshit

Hey, very nice textures man. HAHA, jk dumbass.

I really hate Grand Theft Auto 4 for the PC

I really really really hate it. It's pissing me off so much I'm about to go shoot the nearest hooker and go beat the shit out of the Gamestop sales rep who sold me the game, and then I'll ask for my money back when he's begging for dear life. Did you know that I hate this game before I even got to play it, and that I was planning on having a blast playing this game? Yeah, epic fail.Do you want to know how to epiclly fuck your game up so bad that people hate it before they even get to play it? I don't care what your answer is just read this and get educated.

To start, the game comes with more bullshit in terms of DRM then any other game I have ever played. It's a clusterfuck of shitiness.The game doesnt use just one form of DRM like 100% of the

 other games out there in the world; it actually use 5 levels of DRM on this god forsaken, peice of shit, overly-hyped game. 

Chase: 1, Rockstar: 0.

Can you imagine how the executive meeting went when they were trying to figure out how to put this game on PC?

 Well guess no longer. Thanks to extensive research performed by me, I found Rockstar Games' PowerPoint presentation that outlines everything down to the Tee. 

(Things in parenthesis are my own comments on the stolen power-point)

Executive Development Meeting

Step-by-step process on how to royally buttfuck our loyal honest customers. 

Written by : Producer Douche Bag

Date: 7-26-08

Classification level: Douche Baggingly High Classification Level

1. Deceptively install "Rockstar Games Social Club" by making it look like you're installing GTA4.  User agrees, only to find out that what was actually installed was a program that must be running in the background to play GTA4, and is in fact not the actualy game install. (we call this bloatware, FYI, and it usually comes with free, commercial infected shit like AIM) 

2. Actually install the game, and spread it out over two discs, and then force the user to insert disc 1 again to complete the install. Oh yes, that was a good one.

3. Force user to activate the game online, if the user can't connect online then the game cannot be played. If they don't have internet at home then fuck them. They obviously bought the game becuase they weren't able to illegally download it from the internet, so we will repeatedly kick them in the balls for not owning Comcast High Speed Internet, because It's Comcastic!(oh ho ho, a rainbow, i see what you're

 doing here)

4. Enter the CD key. Failing to enter hyphens results in an incorrect serial key due to a premitive key-authorization program that was written well over 20 years ago.

5. Force user to wait while the game goes online to validate that you aren't in violation of the street-release date. (Completely fucking redundant since the game has been out for over 7 months) Oh yes, we are proud of ourselves for that one.

6. Once it is determined that the game is in fact in the hands of our legitimate customer on or after the release date (gasp!), launch the game. Re-ask customer to validate that they agree with the EULA for the billionth fucking time, we wan't to make sure our customers know we aren't fucking around, then launch Rockstar Games Social Club (I'm trying to make you hate this name, is it working yet?). 

7. Proceed to trick customer into thinking that if they want to play GTA4 that they must first

 create a user account with Rockstar Games Social Club. Launch default broswer to webpage allowing the gullible idiot to create an account.

8. Show customer all these cool little avatars they can use to create an account to suck them in for the kill, meanwhile our shady little program called Rockstar Games Social Club opens up to this default login screen in the background behind the browser, out of sight, allowing the idiot who just made an account to realize they could have played the game without doing this BS by clicking the skip login button.

  

9. Launch Game. Rudely reminding the little smartass who didn't create an account with Rockstar Games

 Social Club that they did not create an account with Rockstar Games Social Club and therefore cannot sign in to take advantage of stupid shit like being able to capture and upload your own videos that no one is going to watch anyway. This little feature is there just so the user feels like being forced to install Rockstar Games Social Club wasn't a complete fucking waste of the User's time, even though it was.

10. After all this, allow user to make the stupid assumption that they could play the game without the Disc, but inform them that they need the disc to play becuase we are paranoid motherfuckers, and DRM and Rockstar Games Social Club wasn't enough DRM to satisfy us. We want our customers to literally shout in unison across the globe, "Why, Oh Why, Oh Why didn't I just Pirate this stupid piece of shit?"

11. Tell the user what he/she can and cannot do with their computer by using a riduculous weights and balance system to control graphics settings. Want to make your settings high? Too bad dipshit, I don't think your computer is good enough. Obviously high quality textures take up all 512MB of  your puny Memory, dumbass. If you want high quality textures you will have to make everything else low. Why? Becuase we fucking can. ( I was able to make it give me what i wanted in exchange for my man hood, a viewing distance of 1 out of 100)

[look at higher quality picture here]

-End Slideshow-

Honestly, this is one of the worst cover-ups in PC gaming history. How this wasn't in the news like it should have been is just amazing. It looks like Rockstar Games have been playing their own game so much that they applied it to the games marketing strategy. Bribing/Extorting the reviewers much?

I feel victimized. Atleast the guy named Joel at the bottom of the page tells it like it really is, unlike those other users who are all failures at life. For those of you who are failures, I have a great website you should read.

Don't buy this bullshit. Boycott it. PC users deserve far better then this.

No, your eyes do not decieve you, the game really looks this bad with everything on high, with texture quality set to medium. Even the "Auto" ratio detection failed, good job dumbfucks at Rockstar Games. (look at minimap in bottom left corner, it is an oval and not a circle)

FEAR 2 : Project Origin

Im writing a review on project origin. It's going to be awesome. You better read/watch it when it comes out, or I'll have Alma haunt you. Yes that's right, we're buddies now.

All my past and current projects...

I wanted to make a list of all the projects i have worked on past and present, not JUST to brag of course, but to help me keep track of all of it... honest!

These are all games that i have either editied trailers for, spent an enourmous amount of time on, captured a lot of gameplay for soure material to build out an edit, created a sizzle, or have sent out to publishers for TV commercials.

 This list is in current order of projects from greatest to least amount of work.

Spore and all Spore related games, EPs, BPs

Battlefield Bad Company

G.I. Joe

Hasbro Family Game Night

Littles Pet Shop

Nerf-N-Strike

Battleforge

Sim Animals

The Sims 2 Franchise

The Sims 3

Brutal Legends

Dead Space

MySims Kingdom

MySims Party

MySims Racing - All these MySims games are completely unique and are counted seperately!

Godfather 2

C&C Red Alert 3

Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning

Need for Speed: Undercover

All EA Sports Titles since 07'
Madden and/or NCAA Simulations for ESPN footage

Ill have to come back to this...

Six year old steals car to drive to school

Kids do the funniest things sometimes.

A six year old kid from Virginia missed his school bus, so the kid stole his parents Ford Taurus so he could make it to school on time. Want to know how he learned to drive? You'll find out. When the cops questioned where the six year old learned to drive, he responded with Grand Theft Auto 4. 

Said taurus, was, unfortuntely, totaled six miles out from the house. But then again thats about how far i would get before i crashed too in GTA. Or Mercs 2. Or anything really....

You cant blame the kid for trying though! Which makes you wonder, where were the parents for all of this? Well this little accident caused the six year old and his older brother to put into the hands of child services.

Thats probably a good thing? As sad as it is...

Although, Aside from the kid being late to the bus, and then stealing his parents car, and then crashing it, and being questioned by police, and then being whisked away by child services...you really have to ask yourself; why the fuck was a six year old playing GTA4???

http://kotaku.com/5124816/grand-theft-auto-helping-six-year-olds-drive-to-school